Help My Unbelief

“For surely it is not angels that he helps, but he helps the offspring of Abraham. Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.” Hebrews 12:16-18

I cannot find any joy or peace outside of the mercy of God I find in Christ. But still my heart is constantly coveting and wanting other things with which God has not blessed me. That’s painful to admit. Do I trust in the sovereignty of God? I suppose I do, but I don’t trust in its goodness. And trusting it requires death of self, and death is painful. I am afraid of the will of God, but I trust my own will which has never led me to anything of lasting value and causes more pain and loneliness. Now, I feel weak and beaten and unable to muster any strength.

But Jesus, my Mediator sees me and has compassion. He knows I am weak and completely helpless. I don’t even know how to believe that at times. I don’t believe Him enough to follow Him in simple obedience. Lord, help my unbelief!

And who am I? I’m simply a sad, helpless sinner.

But: ‘Hark! the voice of love and mercy
Sounds aloud from Calvary;
See, it rends the rocks asunder,
Shakes the earth, and veils the sky:
“It is finished!” “It is finished!”
“It is finished!” Hear the dying Savior cry;
Hear the dying Savior cry.’*

Thank God for grace, mercy, and compassion! My salvation was finished on the cross. Christ has died and suffered so that I may be justified! He will not leave me in my sins! He will change my heart and renew my strength in His power, not mine.

He will teach me to rest and trust, and when I don’t, He has compassion and lovingly and gently reminds me of who He is. This He has promised: Even when I have no faith, He is faithful.

*from “Hark The Voice of Love and Mercy” by Jonathan Evans and Benjamin Francis

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About Andrew T.

I graduated from the University of North Florida with a BA in Psychology with a minor in Studio Art. I am now attending Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary in Wake Forest, NC. I enjoy psychology, theology, and art (now I sound redundant).
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